Run Britain Days 127 and 128: The A87 to the Kyle of Lochalsh
Scotland,
Your lochs, mountains and occasional clear skies are stunning. Your people are friendly and welcoming.
But running your ‘coastline’ is not easy. Especially when that coastline requires miles and miles of pounding along pavement-less A-roads. Physically, I think my joints are getting used to their daily bruising. But mentally, it’s hard.
And when life gets mentally hard, I watch Inside Out 2.
Inside Out 2 is a Disney Pixar animation, which tells the story of the emotions which live in the head of a teenage girl called Riley.
In the sequel to the first film, Riley’s core emotions (Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust) are joined by four new emotions, including Anxiety whose role it is to “protect Riley from the things she can’t see.” The trouble is that Anxiety gets carried away and begins dreaming up scenarios which may or may not happen in the future that she thinks she must protect Riley from.
This planning makes Riley lose her sense of self. She behaves in ways she doesn’t recognise and ends up building a very firm belief that she is not good enough.
There is no character in any film which speaks to me as much as Anxiety does.
Like Riley, anxiety has played havoc inside my head since I was a teenager. I’ve pushed myself so hard to get over the feeling that I am not good enough. I’ve burned myself out at work and have burned bridges after acting in a way that doesn’t feel like me.
I’ve worked hard to give my own anxiety a positive role in my brain, rather than a role that punishes me.
But this week I have had to remind myself of the lessons from Inside Out 2. Spending time inside my own head has made me question my motivations. Is Run Britain a selfish mission? Am I only doing it to silence the voice which says I am not good enough?
The answer is, of course, no. There is no way I would still be out here running through the rain if my only motivation was selfish. Running Britain is to raise money for the Samaritans, celebrate the wonderful parts of our island and, hopefully, provide some comfort for those feeling alone.
And so with my anxiety back in her helpful planning role, I’m excited for this final third. To celebrate the north and the east coast, to celebrate the longer days. And to finally get off the A87.