Run Britain Day 12: Sittingbourne to Herne Bay

A drizzly day which also included some deep contemplation about the feeling of enjoyment.

I’m on marathon 12 of 200 around the coastline of Britain and I would be hard-pressed to say I am enjoying myself. That is to say, I am not feeling that nice, warm feeling that one would normally associate with joy. Because running for a minimum of five hours a day on often uneven terrain, sometimes alone and regularly into a headwind is not a joyful experience. It’s painful.

But then, it’s not pain in the traditional sense of the word ‘pain’. It’s not the kind of teeth gritting pain that makes you want to curl up indoors. It’s also not anywhere near the kind of mental turmoil that I endured during the worst phases of depression. And it’s not a pain that I am wishing away.

I don’t feel happiness, or comfort, or joy when I am out running on the coast and my legs are heavy. But in those moments, I don’t want to stop. I feel very fortunate to have a body which allows me to take on a challenge like this. I feel very humbled by the landscapes and nature around me. I feel very grateful for being outside for most of the day. I feel energised, engaged and emboldened.

Am I enjoying myself? No. But is there anything else in the world that I would rather be doing? Absolutely not.